JohnnyRoney - 2/18/2005 at 07:35 PM
Will the DEADZONE survive the GREAT SUPPRESSION? Who knows. Blotter Sheet No.1 which appears on page 2 has been updated. I’m not sure if I’m happy with it yet but check it out and discover the secret message. ( it said EAT ME )
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wombat - 2/10/2005 at 10:31 PM
in fading deadzone best light. a freaky yellow bluebird bus rambles north towards captain franks pier. "child of violence" painted cruely in black on its bumblebee drivers side. miss that bus. paintball that bus."sung hay fat choy" bozo bunch that created oblivion space and dead weight sports structures at mouth and hinder door. retreat now in a stream and blur of red tailights on your forty seven minute dash back to the mountains of mashed potatoes on the edge of town. tonight is the night for drew's dime museum to reopen after all these years. a few geeks and goomlers set the stagelights tripping.jeans funny house is up and running two headed dogs, faint hearts do not apply. see you at the midnight show at the roxy burlesque.
[Edited on 11/2/2005 by wombat]
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wombat - 2/9/2005 at 09:43 PM
enough war tales. instead try this out when you get the chance. sprinkle caviar on a flat belly, take care not to disturb the eggs in the cavity below. sprinkle koksalt on eggs. bonne femme! the real goods arrived priority today. thanks roney old chap. will pass the mess to bikeboy asap. deadzone corners that haunt me return to life.afterhours at washtubs place, enter a world of players of all levels and stripes. wild on moonshine and the like. illicit pursuits as a occupation. drinking splits of thunderbird and ducking the nightclubs sting.
[Edited on 10/2/2005 by wombat]
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JohnnyRoney - 2/8/2005 at 04:55 PM
Twang twang Just say Nohia to ohia. Lookin real fine lately ain’t ya. Its gettin so bad in northern ohia the supreme court justice thinks it ridiculous to drive sober like. Strains of Iggys Dum Dum Boys comes to mind as Nohia lurks ever closer to imploding into a million tiny whigholes of mass depression driving erratically under the influence of a 3 martini lunch with no more sense of purpose than the so-called common criminal whos getting some ....hold on... I’m Whigging....hey hey The DEADZONE is now The DUMDUMZONE...looks like the brain retardant chemicals was inthose sucker-pops.Giddy up my Ding Dong Star spangle (r) me a DUMDUM oh say can you see by the dumdums early light...? wot so proudly we nailed in the twilights brain draining ....? with its bitter suckers and sour tarts through the nefarious blight, O’er the lake we watched the Acid so blatantly raining? And Dorothys FLAMING red hair, her crooked finger doth dare , gave proof to the night that the DEADZONE was still there O say does that dumdum banner yet wave O’er the land of decay and the home of the knaves
well its only a matter of time now. SILENCE.....OFF WITH THEIR HEADS....lifes not the same... I’m beheading in 24 bit stereo...and the freetimes is now the FREESUPPRESSORS ...'open wide and say AAAHHH'...So if you can’t find us just google ‘johnnyroney’ or ‘wombat cleveland’ or if you choose, google ‘harhawgrockler’... LOL
[Edited on 8/2/2005 by JohnnyRoney]
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harhawgrockler - 2/6/2005 at 08:58 PM
Mountain of dust and swords surrounded.... but what games to play now....no fair you cheated, besides CNN got it all on tape...If not the sattelite spy drones picked up that last dingleberry on your lower left anus so everybody...bend over an show em where its really at......Games without frontiers...........Smile for the Famous Anus monkey face Space race...the next place to play.....Oh yeah... guess who gets to pay...as the Dead Zone dawn rears its ugly head one more time as it has done for millenia, the single daisy dancing in the breze on the shores of the north coast to plaesant flute music... **** it... time for Barnaby
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wombat - 2/5/2005 at 02:30 AM
underground thought patrol missive. time to hug the mountain of our sworn enemy.join world hands around the arms of the enemy who live on the mountain in order to attempt to escape our one televisedd hooked upworldwide cultural grasp. nobody forks around with these ancient swords. contain them by surrounding the mountain base with what will become a physical border and choke off their ageless retreat. what better time than now? deadzone wails and thrashes about all piggly wigglyville.chowder society functions and that sort of old school tainted rabble.
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wombat - 1/29/2005 at 07:57 PM
Schweik,bebert, and Billy Pilgrim really know the score. For most of us the smell and taste of puddin and pie. wild roasts and fetchin toasts just a little much of an obstacle to conquer on the road to dignity and truth.Boy Howdy.Rodeo catsup splatter vision serves as damper in the shadow play. Vast shibboleths of phony democracy. hot batspit spun and tongued , boogerler ized, dixie fried, televised, jive at five. more buncum with a smegma gargle burped your way at eleven.Laughter, sedition, terror, cruelty, mass murder,haranguing politicians. scumsuckers of the earthorb. der bingle is on da bungle. draggin his tex as john son across the stained Babylon soils. Duckin, and weavin, bobbin and heavin. dancin the old double cross trot to the psychcic outhouse.Just say no nextime partner.Deadzone Boy Howdy! Bikeboy in the greenzone. no way wildman. rudy ray moore has the right read on war. watch out nick dixon, dolomite on yer tail.
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JohnnyRoney - 1/29/2005 at 09:26 AM
http://www.johnharveyphoto.com/Kauai/CarpLg.jpg
http://www.rockdivers.com/logos_scuba/carp.jpg
http://nagyxp.scolly.net.au/mediaxp/bbq%203/carp.jpg
http://www.seas.upenn.edu/courses/belab/ReferenceFiles/Soun d/waves/fish.wav
http://www.whyaduck.com/sounds/crackers/fish.wav
http://www.seas.upenn.edu/courses/belab/ReferenceFiles/Soun d/waves/cheese.wav
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harhawgrockler - 1/28/2005 at 04:52 AM
Carp Potato Salad: Boil three deadzone carp (Sheephead will do if no carp available) in cayuga water, simmer untill falling off bone. Drain water into bathtub. soak potatoes (Cubed) and celery in bathtub. add gin, bloody mary mix and swizzle until well brined. Drain tub and scrape remaining contents into ozzy newsomes helmut. (Micheal Stanleys Mullet will do as well). Add your own mayo and shake well. serves you right !!!
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harhawgrockler - 1/28/2005 at 04:26 AM
Har Haw Har Haw, Woomba? Toombaroney? They walked the tracks from 115th to ohio city, they rode the floating railroad trestle high above the Swillahoga black as ink in the summer swelter as they watched the Smoke on the Water. The full slohio moon shone bright in the sky as the hookers on P ave tried to look female. And somewhere south of the deadzone lurking in the whigspawn the Ronny cheese fast taking hold of the feeble inbred grey matter of the bipeds. Har Haw Har Haw. Little did they know the offspawn of Pighole was busy playing simulated training missions in their underoos grabbing their joysticks before they could say the words.. I know how you feel.........
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harhawgrockler - 1/24/2005 at 01:26 AM
Once upon a time in the Deadzone success and fortune almost smiled....almost................."A Rutigliano super bowl team" remember that one? We may have stood a better chance at winning the prize movie, "OK Marge I'm going to show you a short clip"....."are you ready?" "Yes John". Well at least the polish sausage was good. Maybe we can catch the last of that Jonah Koslin show after the game. Where the biped whigspawn sellout began to multiply and divide based upon selections made through advertising campaigns on "how to sell the biggest amount of garbage for the highest profit possible. Thanks PT "theres a sucker born every minute" I just didn't think they'd all end up here.....In the Deadzone
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JohnnyRoney - 1/23/2005 at 09:55 PM
Well we’ve lost our australian link. The evil internet lords are at work .oppression suppression repression its all the same ... just like in the real world. As Georgie lays down his cosmik country jive... the biggest oppressor of them all; four more years of Jesus with a twist...or is it a pinch? Lately....I’ve begun to equate Georgie with a religious nut ala Jim Jones of Jonestown Guyana fame and Marshall Applewhite of the Heavens Gate crew. Georgie gets this weird look in his eyes when he starts to talk about his faith in GAWD. As if Georgie believes GAWD is speaking directly through him. Its giving me the Willies thats for sure.... I can see it now Come To The BUSH HOLY FREEDOM RANCH. Find The Savior within yourself and do a little dance. THE WORD is OIL D*ck How do I anoint thee. Do YOU like my new SUV? Lift thy silver spoon from thy mouth and rejoice with the Fortunate SON, but watch thy back cuz Chucky has a gun..
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harhawgrockler - 1/21/2005 at 04:05 AM
As the albino refuse Whigspawn bipeds multiply in south deadzone driving their axles of evil...eating thickburgers with one hand and sucking down swillwater with the other....These colors don't run boy......they just blur common sense. As they tune in to watch the Famous Anus accept his looted podium and spew the pighole whigspawn mandate to spread the good word that the DeathKulture is here to stay.....as long as you pay and pay and pay....for in McMerica there is no other way...thats the way it stands today.
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harhawgrockler - 1/20/2005 at 09:41 PM
woombatoombaroney,The pighole wodunk bipeds spew forth the spawn of whighole ..................... Stay tuned for the Adventures of Whigspawn in McMerica
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wombat - 1/20/2005 at 01:04 AM
mickey mouse is our rodent gnawing about the tropics. our boy secret agent noddin' east. all wrapped up in his floppy fantasia magicians pointy cap flyin the crescent sun and quarter moon. you figure all planets in our solor system and beyond have lots to do with the nonsense down low here on eartorb. put 'em up, dukes , kings, queens, and all others in a much larger peckin order sure seem to play out old roles. all the charming suburban charioteers,doin the collective suv shuffleoff in the klondike gulag deadzone farmlands. metal munchin mice. repeat repeat repeat procreate procreate procreate void void void
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wombat - 1/18/2005 at 09:14 PM
what mystery squink does sleep in erie drink?stay tuned for mao hijinks. mousee dung dat is. nixon combat tales with corporal agnew. swinetime funnies with all your barnyard politico buddies. moonshine a modern curse? moonshine an ancient rite?uwe decide. drop out now while yer arse is intact.think pink, "turn blue, purple knif"
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JohnnyRoney - 1/15/2005 at 04:54 PM
In honor of wombat having a covert forum of his own and spreading the evil podunk whighole delight which emits from the Three Towers of Corporate Death.... the DEADZONE in its majestical decay greets the universe through the great matrix ...Howdy Y’all!!!
some sounds for the inquisitive that have never set foot in THE DEADZONE
http://www.naturalworlds.org/wolf/multimedia/audio/sounds.h tm
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JohnnyRoney - 1/11/2005 at 10:05 PM
http://www.authentichistory.com/images/2000s/general_2000s/ war_on_iraq_mad_mag_poster_01.html
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JohnnyRoney - 1/11/2005 at 09:52 PM
http://www.authentichistory.com/audio/1930s/music/1929-Happ y_Days_Are_Here_Again.html
seems the link I had here re: wombats forum is no longer...I wonder why...lol
[Edited on 23/1/2005 by JohnnyRoney]
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wombat - 1/10/2005 at 11:12 PM
you funny man roney j. hagawagergokergroker, justice is bought and sold in deadzone. biz as usual as if attempting to spend time living in the hillbillium mines that start due south of here at the summit county line does not really matter. really the human race far more resembles a color coded series of tribal genetic soupy fleshed offgassing porcinegreedy selfish bipeds and you get the picture concerning all wars. reach behind yer hams and grab about the tail area. tale area ? yes that is the place that the politicians dwell. of course we must have them. tales that is. many dreams i leap about treetops fornicating with my yeti women mates. a pirate ship earth, inhabitated with eighteen percenter humanoids on this brain dead orb. think about the other eighty two percent of cranium juice and why we are not given that window? tamped down for good reason.why the audacity of it all. a nation like us attempting to stand between a pair of ancient peoples who do not like us a meddlin in their slops at all. democracy is a word fairly foreign on all soils. the alpha bullies and political creepshow! pull out now,she told me as i was about to . come over to the side of the room that contained the fornomachinery. a pair of chimps leapt grinning through the treetops,whistlin dixie from their bungers. "happy days are here again"
[Edited on 11/1/2005 by wombat]
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JohnnyRoney - 1/9/2005 at 09:45 PM
Why... I’m out west on a hill playing with the words of country joes I -FEEL-LIKE -I’M- FIXIN ’-TO-DIE RAG; thinking of the younger generation who will get sucked into Georgies Holy war. I’m sure you’ve heard that the reserves are drying up and by next year the huge military machine will be running short of personnel. Whats that mean? Well... you know what it means. D-R-A-F-T ... Georgies GENERATION CLEANSING will be kicked into full gear (if it hasn’t already) and its GOOD MORNING VIET NAM (its worse than Viet Nam) all over again. I would prefer to leave the war OUT of the DEADZONE, because you really don’t want me to start posting links to BEHEADING videos. Thats a bit much. If you’ve never seen a grown man (who wasn’t a soldier, but a contractor) have a full emotional meltdown and sounding like a pig being slaughtered as a hooded man cuts off his head in full glorious COLOR ...consider yourself lucky.
http://www.countryjoe.com/rag.htm
...and remember to “be the first one on your block to have your boy (or girl) come home in a box”
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harhawgrockler - 1/7/2005 at 02:25 AM
To the editor: Thank you for the story on Babe heading back to Iraq. It's good to know that some of these soldiers know the deal. If only the Dead Zone had been able to protect thier voting machines. Is it possible for a Tsunami to take out the red states? Is justice blind or just looking the other way?
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harhawgrockler - 1/7/2005 at 01:25 AM
Bleakness permiates McMerica. While brainwashed teenagers faithfully enlist to do King Georges bidding. They would lick his nads on the steps of the world bank while waiting for praise and money. Little do they know (because they slept through history class) which was the watered down truth bought and sold by governmental contracts, that they are fighting a mirror image of themselves distorted by television waves. Roney wherefore art thou when help is needed so desperately in the dead zone, overun by the neo casinostra monkeying with voting machines while kissing babies on the Dr. Phil show. Hath the Ronnie cheese so shredded thier delicate grey matter? Should the whole world suffer the same fate as the dead zone? Apparently so, since the dead zone has declared thier fate. God bless McMerica..Long live the King.. I dont care..I've got mine....
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wombat - 1/5/2005 at 10:47 PM
i have lost my papers and fear that the constant stew of monkey glands assed up with bushmeat causes most faint of heart to wobble. not to be confused with one faint of heart indeed relish the annual sealcubcrackin given out by the corporatoes and their ill kin.shiny gristle ,tonsil ,and beak. plum loverly.griessuppe,schweienefleisch in bier, ninety odd days the cheezey mutts that haunt this deadplace will stagger in to be the true rubes they am again and shell out real money to watch the lousy baseball team loose.
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wombat - 1/5/2005 at 01:04 AM
tight lines. woman the oars.bilge fed rotting duck corpus. swillsville, this corksocking mistake und flake on lake. knockedofflinebythis newspaperfishwrappercumartdittie. better knockers nextime daddyo. see you in the funnypapers.
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JohnnyRoney - 1/4/2005 at 12:03 AM Follow this link to the soundtrack of a culture. 30 years worth....
http://www.archive.org/audio/etreelisting-browse.php?collec tion=etree&cat=Grateful%20Dead
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JohnnyRoney - 1/3/2005 at 11:42 PM
http://www.bigcountrytradingpost.com/jernigan/images/coyote s%202.jpg
Welcome to THE DEADZONE harhawgrockler ; “not having fun”? you better get used to IT... Just be aware that when you’re LOGGED IN to the DEADZONE, you’re only allowed to view Right Wing Soccer Mom Approved posts. Thats my guess anyway.so be sure to be LOGGED OUT when you enter so you can enjoy all THE DEADZONE has to offer ( lol )
wot fun. That was my sixth attempt at rebuilding my Blotter Acid sheet. sure its lost some of the RoneyScope splendor the original had...but wot can you do...I'm dealing with crooked and creepy Raspberry freaks who go all the way when it comes to having their holly jolly ya ya's @ others expense. I have had suspicions that the powers that be have installed A BLOTTER filter to spare the dear readers the depravity of some twisted minds. Well better look inside your own state. "Mommy...whats a Dimebag?" The DEADZONE lucked out last month when the bitter fan in The GUMMOZONE decided to execute his fave bands lead guitarist ....on stage no less...for a region so dependent on music ..only in Ohio? Columbus isn't that far removed from The DEADZONE, its only 2 hours away. is it a weird coincidence that ol' Dimebag ate LEAD 24 years to the hour that John Lennon received his 4 bullets. Generation Mutilation now has their own poster boy for the fight against handguns...... and Chuck has another notch in his holster. Gawd Dam Vermin
”Love your enemy” ...thats what Jesus said. look where it got Him.
hmmm ......the culture....shakedown street....”maybe the dark is from your eyes....”- Robert Hunter
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harhawgrockler - 1/3/2005 at 03:00 AM
Roney, Its getting bleaker all the time. I've been on this website a half hour now and I cant seem to find any of your latest deadzone commentary last post i see is 9 25 04. I also cant seem to find my own posts and one seems to be lost in cyberspace. Maybe i need help navigating this but inn general I'm not having fun
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harhawgrockler - 12/24/2004 at 05:08 AM
Roney, If Hendrix were alive today he might vomit again in the ambulance if he got stuck in the deadzone without any smiley blotter. That way he could see the red moon risin over the inner mounting flame and shack up in a saltbox down in the flats. Only the finish on the neck of his strat would start to crack because he left it on the floor under the bed during a deadzone winter............lonleyness is such a drag........................Any way he might head down to drug alley to get some microdot and take it at a world series of rock concert in his dreams as all semblence of utopia has left the deadzone. Matt the Cat's litter box got too full and the the new youth of Clevo has no clue. even an archiologist couldn't uncover shakedown street because no one passed on the culture throughout the flurry of Nancy's just say no campaign and blocks of ronny cheese dosed with experimental brain numbing chemicals that the CIA was experimenting with back in the late 80's. Use your head Roney....love your enemy because they'll teach you all you'll ever need to know.
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wombat - 11/4/2004 at 11:19 PM
vernon hopperclod set down his jack danielsand walked out the front door of the seven sease nightclub with a grin.he had been waiting for a rider who never did show.now it was time to hit the water. turning west towards the river he just made the nine p.m. ferry heading for the spectre of lights that flickered on the west bank of the river. Had to visit a celestial house of ill repute on pelikan street and take care of some overdue business. to think that he had been living in the deadzone most of his life before deciding to fall down the rabbit hole and work on his oyster and clam skills. meanwhile back in the spaceport on the former site of burke airport a zepplin was departing for southern ontario. mostly coyotes and mad drooling politicians biting and fighting among the garbage dump looking for scraps.
[Edited on 5/11/2004 by wombat]
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wombat - 11/4/2004 at 02:31 AM
hang ten , two wheels north on the north marginal purple stroboscopic nightrider cusping dusk. who needs to inherit politburo washington texas iraq axis anyways? man from mass bright enough to step aside. seventy two percent of the county warren state of ohio voted for the republic yesterdays.this deadzone city the northern crown of the american south. norka that is. down the slithery slickmythic highway to west virginy. wolf blitzer got it right when he refered to ohio as a southern swing state early on in the convention stage of presidential political 2004 affairs, united states. pretty **** even excepting this hillbilly impolite bunch of would be hoosiers, hillbillies, and briars. did the man from sammytwoshits a big favor. save him from a roasting from both republic houses.senate and representitives would hang and negate whatever he might of had in mind the supreme court appointments are another kettle of fish.
[Edited on 4/11/2004 by wombat]
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JohnnyRoney - 11/3/2004 at 05:22 PM
Expecting long lines on the Detroit-Superior Bridge ,diving boards in natural earth tones are being installed on the (no) Hope Memorial Bridge to handle the impatient. Earth tones were chosen to help people get a GRIP as they let go of themselves while praising Jesus Christ for the bounty which awaits as they become ONE with the Almighty.
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JohnnyRoney - 11/2/2004 at 01:47 PM
George W. Bush you gotta go ... just like yer daddy... back to Crawford and yer DIRT. King George NO MAS !!!!
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1133075.html
old news now, but i keep finding the image being suppressed on American web sites
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wombat - 10/29/2004 at 01:08 AM
crawl creeping slither bellied fools. tarpaper hills await the chosen as they do the lemming waddle off into a meandering razor dawn. ah the memory of the goood years. plenty smokestacks, jobs, stinky, stanky clanging factory bells. smell of work is smell of eagle flying around with sammys dead prez papers stuck in the soft middle for amusement twist. yeh, nay , or just say what you durn well please has been the rule to date. why wake up a sleeping snake? deadzone takes long afternoon nap under a steel moon, slither off the face of appalachia. we be the north most point of the south. first foothills on the road to greenville pa. or is it meadville? erie? butler? beaver? trade up to the headwaters. return nature for natures sake. go team. shuffle off to some other kinda vision of a greener pasture. what did you say quickstraw? "gator got your granny, chomp, chomp.." raindrops are really tears of supreme joy from yet another dimension. let us mechanical units fortify our carbon based positions and continue to off gas until the future kats come back and pick us up at the saucer port.
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JohnnyRoney - 10/22/2004 at 06:24 AM
http://www.vanderwal.net/photos/snowtaxinyc.jpg
October 21st.
I’ve been getting lots of sleep... dreaming of the streets. I’m waiting for the sun to shine and the rain to come. Iris still wants to join the commune, but I can’t handle those places...you know...the filth . I’m still working that job for the government. “Soon” they keep saying.
http://www.msu.edu/user/svoboda1/taxi_driver/sounds/talk2me .wav
http://www.allposters.com/IMAGES/54/039_4317.jpg
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wombat - 10/19/2004 at 11:45 PM
here is the question for today. how did this deadzone place get roped and conned into a dedicated bus line running from downtown nowhere to university circle? does this project serve the interests of the deadzone clinic and university hospital/university circle? tell me how many citizens will ride this federal government sponsered rta administered taxi between the corporate hotels downtown and the various odd points east along euclid avenue? is this project a bad joke or what? can we power this sucker up and have it hop the tracks anti gravity fashion and perhaps take a left turn at 105th street and visit tarblooder territory on its way to lake erie and the zepplin port to be constructed ont lakeshore blvd behind the gwinn mansion to take all deadzoners across the pond to southern ontario, docking in the cheery port city of fort erie.
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wombat - 9/28/2004 at 02:58 AM
must be supposn and johnny roney eating smiley blotter acid. farmed out. spocksville baby. really? what this deadzone does manufacture is poverty. we are best among our peers in this matter. what else do you propose we manufacture supposn? has anyone seen the plans for the lower euclid avenue regional transit authority spaceport? shucks musta left them **** plans on the interdimensional streetcar. did you see em from the enterprise bridge roney? a fine little sarcastic vitriol blast roney old man. dear me i am almost late for the "noon balloon to Rangoon" must be going, pip pip cheers 1966 and all that
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JohnnyRoney - 9/25/2004 at 04:42 PM
on board the Enterprise.
Captain Kirk: “where are we Spock?”
Mr.Spock: “we’re above whats known as The DEAD ZONE sector , in the midwestern quadrant of the continent of North America Captain.”
Captain Kirk: “any sign of intelligence?”
Mr. Spock: “detecting signs of life captain. Seems highly unlikely due to the readings I’m receiving from the scanners."
Captain Kirk: “how so Spock?”
Mr. Spock: “scanners are showing e. coli in the water, polluted air and a dying lake. Surely the inhabitants are a suffering bunch. Highly illogical why a species would live under those conditions.”
Captain Kirk: “shields up Spock!! ... would the environment suggest a hostile mutant civilization?”
Mr. Spock: “possibly Captain...If logic were to prevail, definitely a twisted one. My sensors indicate a serious lack of natural sunlight. Should we take a closer look Captain?”
Captain Kirk: “ Nah. No need . Bridge to engine room ... Scotty... Warp 5....Spock, maintain shields, get us out of here, quickly.”
Scotty: “ Rite away Coptin’, I’m giving ‘er all shes got.”
Mr. Spock: “Hmmmm...hobbits”
Captain Kirk : “what Spock?”
(The above is meant as a parody. In no way shape or form is it meant as an actual dialog or to be represented as an actual script from the late 20th century television show Star Trek)
[Edited on 27/9/2004 by JohnnyRoney]
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supposn - 9/24/2004 at 09:26 PM
The USA was and possibly still is the world's greatest manufacturing nation. Clevland is a major participant. Refer to my topic posted 23Sep04, Clevland need not be poor.
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JohnnyRoney - 9/21/2004 at 05:20 PM
“NO Tranquility base here...the RONE has landed (not in Clevo of course).” Perhaps wots wrong with THE DEADZONE is people f*ck with the way things are to try to improve the state of tranquility THE DEADZONE so desperately needs. Obviously your efforts are fruitless ( take a look outside).... Honey I shrunk the BLOG.... Is it my computer or does it now appear the format has changed for the page setup?. ..whoever you are making these supreme decisions you really did a number on my SMILEY RONEY BLOTTER ACID sheet which appeared on page 2 . Thanx ...you CREEP....all in all maybe it’s just a sign of the impending doom that awaits the quiet SLEEPY inhabitants of THE DEADZONE and my little rant.....POOF!
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JohnnyRoney - 9/16/2004 at 08:23 PM
this is a SAD motherf*cking day, the chant fer THE DEADZONE.... fer the whole wide freaking world is GABBA GABBA HEY!!!! http://www.ramones.com
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JohnnyRoney - 9/16/2004 at 01:43 AM
Heres looking at you kid
http://www.rrraul.org/muck.jpg
http://freepages.history.rootsweb.com/~history/grafton/muck .jpg
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wombat - 9/6/2004 at 10:32 AM
who'zone, pimpzone, fuzztonezone. whut duz youze xpects' from dis sportz happy place of nonsense? schoolin ain't nuttin' but trash and trouble rounds 'bout here. time has come to turn this fertile place into a great agrarian experiment. we should attempt to toil upon the land, planting what we eatun'. uh, huh? eatin' whutz fish we catchin'. solvin' the gobi, redeye, and sheapshead mystery condition of our great polluted body of water named dreary ole' miss bleary. deary, deary, swamp people near ya'. callin' out no more for any federale rubbles. we dont need your stinkin' welfare bucks! gonna send crops off to market again . everybody round here gonna rise and shake tail and labor in our collective farms from dawn till dusk. we are truly in a battle ground state. industry done busted out, people are played out, even the parasite corporate types have left for lower ground. yes bob and alice, carol and ted as well we are the new south and we will rise again. we will erradicate poverty and the hordes of asian invaders known as gobis. we are right and time will prove us stronger than the jive arse politicians that have mired us into this barren mucked up muck muck muck.
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JohnnyRoney - 9/2/2004 at 06:00 PM
The PO'ZONE
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JohnnyRoney - 8/25/2004 at 03:25 AM
http://www.aquilaarts.com/bushmonkey.html
might as well add this...I googled 'bushkiller'... IT comes from Texas
http://tncweeds.ucdavis.edu/alert/alrtcayr.html
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JohnnyRoney - 8/19/2004 at 09:20 PM
http://www.nationallampoon.com/news/truefacts/archives/vide o/12_06_2001.asp
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JohnnyRoney - 8/19/2004 at 06:54 AM
http://bobdylan.com/songs/masters.html
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JohnnyRoney - 8/17/2004 at 09:50 PM
groovy mon, wish i was there (not really) downloadin again ....pirate in the deep black sea of cyberspace, no inkling to write about the DEADZONE, I mean it sucks, no sense flogging a DEAD horse, praise jah for leaving babylon, gotsta go now (waves)
http://www.nationallampoon.com/news/truefacts/archives/vide o/8_28_2002.asp
http://www.csulb.edu/depts/endo/images/labpix/sheephead.jpg
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wombat - 8/17/2004 at 02:52 PM
straight jive kittens and cats. deadzone shanghi by suburban proxy. the populace votes with feet. broadview heights is born. medina and portage counties discovered and well kinda settled? solon evicts swine for bovine kind. whole of prior urban center is removed to exterior environs and recent agrarian pursuits are replaced with funny looking tornado targets disguised as modern manse. little matter. in a larger way of thought. seems the outer fat arse soft underbelly is rotten and brought tyo you by a fatuous gang of swells and thugs who run the burbs as their own political property and all else take the hindmost. kartoffelballchen volk uber nowhere
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wombat - 8/14/2004 at 05:40 PM
hung out dry as if some sorta ragamopslop. " cluck,cluck, trying to be a chicken truck!!!". bout' sez it all amerika. actual truck signage, on the foil at that, of a lowrain county ohioiandiana eighteen wheeler. bolf witzer wuz shur "write" when he included this swingin' o high o confused state with the south.ploiticos beware, we bury the slops of our carp and sheephead industry around this crooked border.
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wombat - 8/9/2004 at 09:48 PM
sun turns on a dime. summer arrives. yellow sunshine.LE SONYR RA.YOCHANAN.tlk,TM, jk;MW,JG,jm,ms present past future chord forward now . underground thought patrol junior twenty plus century style.earth rose 1. this swamp morphophonic glazed away into subterranean pleasure dome. replete all reet with cosmic feet a paddin trippin' down sunny street.all eyes upward we now practice sky observation asleep or awake outpost erie no more
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JohnnyRoney - 8/9/2004 at 03:56 PM
classic
http://www.nationallampoon.com/news/truefacts/archives/vide
o/truefacts_11.6.2000_12.10.14.asp
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JohnnyRoney - 8/8/2004 at 02:08 PM
http://www.moveonplease.org/whacked/bushwhacked.asp
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JohnnyRoney - 8/4/2004 at 04:29 AM
lol....too funny, but SAD in its own way....
http://detroityes.com/home.htm
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wombat - 8/3/2004 at 07:05 PM
add to your links please the" fabulous ruins detroit site ", help her roneyman.and you can extrapulate a fair number of images,still and some streaming. wow man..that resemble our very own deadzone swampedupand erie allright. in the same vein.all the deadzone urban corners done been chewed up and spit out blank or null and void of human character. just gaze upon the blighted state of east one hundred and fifth and euclid. my , my where did all the peoples go?lets not even start on the pitifull condition of the two "major" universities in this deadzone. deadzone state university has the most brutal architectural face imaginable. twenty five years ago an actual neighborhood existed on what now is the deadzone campus.a subhuman series of bad buildings that serve as a sad testimony for what may pass as higher education round here has replace this neighborhood that once adjoined downtown deadzone. why that bunch of knuckleheaded phds should not be allowed to even consider teaching urban studies. downright hillbilly impolite.yowza!
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wombat - 8/2/2004 at 07:13 PM
actually, better than a new name for this faceless place of squalid souls. bulldoze the deadzone once and for all in the memory of all forgotten corners. a case of deconstructed urbane life imitating slimy political art.instead the name changes to one or more of the following: wrackandruin, bulldozia,muttville, skankncrankia,whopimpia, mowdownonthelowdowntown,gutcut blight,swampy heights,nipperville, scrotia,cadgerville, deadwater,shambles, crookedplace,voidoidia,splattervolk, mashedpotaoes, mutantown. ah' hells bells, send help soon.take your pick and leave yer sorry arse and nose alone.
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JohnnyRoney - 7/14/2004 at 05:44 PM
The DEAD ZONE needs a name change ...how bout......The DUMB ZONE......or maybe...CLEVELAND The IF WE ONLY HAD A BRAIN ZONE......the ghost of Dorothy Fuldheim is pointing her crooked finger at all of you for being so incredibly stoopid and ignorant while lapping up the bouquet of her dead anal cavity. Don’t you love the smell of death? Step outside and take a big whiff while being force fed the latest trendy and mind numbing sh*te served on a platter alongside a fine assortment of mutant zebra mussels while grooving to classic rock. “Oh darling ...aren’t the lights on The DEAD LAKE so romantic at night while we eat to our hearts discontent? What are these pellets? They are scrumptious !!!” I’ve never seen or lived in a sadder place than The DEAD ZONE.
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wombat - 7/8/2004 at 09:12 PM
Come back now little milk cow,wander on home. Glad to wiitness the fiftieth anniversary of the eastside teleportic timetravel bus stop located in front of Somaman's market at the intersection of East 67 st and Buffalo Avenue. Nice to say "gobble gabble gobble gabble " to the visiting spacecat dignitaries from dimension alimentarycanal x-g13-420. These timetripping illuminati send greetings back to the current deadzone from their perch in 2023. Gobi, zebra musssels, and of course, massive asian carp , are the lake bleary culinary species of choice. The perch, pike, bass, and all other initial indiginous species rendered extinct by the asian hordes in the year 2019. Erie changed to Bleary in the year 2020. Old news now.
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JohnnyRoney - 7/7/2004 at 04:19 AM
mutant zebra mussels on my mind
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wombat - 6/28/2004 at 07:16 PM
All is spent while in pursuit of temple of serendip. Hasil Adkins jammed with Can in an alternate deadzone funhouse some years ago. So very moon shakin' deluxe. mycological noggins all extra aware while sliding about the catwalks in the backstage of grande opera house at 53rd and euclid. . So much for musical memories.......... ah' the sweet odor of badart and its inherent stench is the current deadzone dropkick. hows about all those nekkid roly polies laid out like cattle and sheep down near the napkin holder on the far edge of ninth street bulkhead? peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Tthis bad photography project validates the meaning of "scam artist". indeed, paying off the nudeniks with a cheezy print of their composite badart flabbery for four hours of hugging a cold pavement. suckers, rubes one and all. Lame lame lame. How do you spell con artist? Crap artist? I sure do not give a steamin' two nicks or a **** for any of this frauduylant nudie vision.Pity this deadzone hick town for falling prey to such a badart gimic.Just goes on to prove yet once again that the volk that live around here can't see when they are being played.whats news? hoo hum!Raining again and the streets and sewers smell like metal and rotten eggs. Politicians must be urinating into the gutters again in search for their fortunes.
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JohnnyRoney - 6/21/2004 at 06:58 PM
Holger Czukay, bass player for the highly influential band CAN (ask Brian Eno re: Holgers influence) plays the DEAD ZONE (about a month ago) and doesn’t receive any ink . Meanwhile superchump Rickie Springfields gets a full glammy pic and dumb words to his favor. Wot is wrong with this picture? And someone told me the smart and intellectualii make the freetimes. Bloody rubbish
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wombat - 6/16/2004 at 06:51 PM
Such bitter musings! Perhaps not enough? Blooming molly coddled pickled politicos. clowns spawn. greed baby greed. chop up the deadzone ,give it away land parcel by land parcel to the trashy corporations who are then tax abated. who loses? sixpack citizenry and our children. all the way to the bank the corporocriminals laugh along. Time is now you awl to drive these snakes back east to the dreary swamps they crawled out from. butt nekid and crying for their very souls. " He that walketh uprightly walketh surely" Exhibit posterior concern when bending over near any deadzone banker, corporoghoulish entity, or the likely politico garbage parasite found attached to them. "Will you walk into my wavetrap? said the spiter to the shy."
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wombat - 6/15/2004 at 10:17 PM
south of youngstown cretins delight. another bloominday in deadzone. fall down again. once a year. spittin bitter stout into endless gutters. stumble amid horse dung. tastes of the dead quim of youth past. not built to last. last two joints transplanted rat and vikos old place. pearly quality. ebony hightimes. "shake like jelly on a plate" corporate guitart lacks the marshall stacks. plenty of expectorate loogied upon the ugly blue gitarcritter **** ed and fully empty null and void at euclid ninth. molly by golly stood erect at the slit of crossroads watched this guitart example shake off its concrete stand and stumble towards the chisholm building. pathetic simpyman playthings. cheap politico types. heh man. whats up simp? hows your buddy the nasty hairy gimp? no quick fix for these empty streets. Bikeman calls for action: UTP Bulletin General Order Number Nine. Disposal and overnight disapero of this useless sidewalk clutter disguised as public art. begone strange evil axes. break their necks and stick em in the soil of the bluff overlooking ninth and lakeside. point 'em towards windsor ontario and paintyour deserving musical heroe on the neck for good luck. howling diablos will rush helter skelter down detroit river backstroking all the way.
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JohnnyRoney - 6/13/2004 at 07:56 AM
this is for Bikeboy...Mr. Gadget....unfortunately the insane goose was cut....if you know the song
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/bike.php
SOYCD
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JohnnyRoney - 6/11/2004 at 10:15 PM
Your lucky in terms of the guitars, next year there thinking of giant blow up creased jeans styled from michael stanleys personal collection. Watch out for the bulges. Dear readers , it was 10 years ago today that I packed it up and left the DEAD ZONE. Has life improved? You betcha . Take a tip from THE RONE, pack up the ol microbus and ‘hit the road Jack’ or you might just ‘drown in your own tears’. A tip of the hat to Ray.......
[Edited on 11/6/2004 by JohnnyRoney]
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wombat - 6/10/2004 at 07:35 PM
Deadzone politicos beggin' for a fix? Please refer to daily newspaper of record for deadzone affairs 06-10-04 metro edition party paper puffery piece phunt page. Shame on these beggers! "high-energy hip folks come to the malls." Flatus maximus daddy-o. Such a notion?Politicos a begging in public for a public. Time to establish a deadzone central casting bureau to fill this employment void.Pay cash stipends to actual poverty level artists,musicians,and their kin, who for the reasonable sum of fifty bucks for a three hour shift of leaning on a tree, bumming beer, food, and drugs from slumming suburban chic cheap thrill seakers who prefer to **** , sin, and grin on our deadzone soil
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wombat - 6/8/2004 at 08:26 PM
A bikeboy conspiracy. Pay atttention bankboy, you are suspect and perhaps engaged in mashing of niblick at this very moment. Deadzone has double cicada trouble. The ugly gitars are back and boy do I do mean, mean , yes down and dirty gertie mean. two tooth spittin' friday evening burpin up vomit on all the axes and sticks hung around this deadzone as if a dead testimony by mere intiminating numbers to give appeatrance to life on this empty streets after six in the evening. Bad art! You bet! Worthy of expectorate, vomit, fecal matter, or bile. You got it! Thus is the message delivered from bikeboy herself. Dirty switchblade totin',nasty politik! You go figure sez bikeboy how can we get these lousy phony rock and roll phallus masts out of our zone?
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wombat - 6/7/2004 at 07:06 PM
" Light troubles speak; the weighty are struck dumb."Seneca. What a sadarse view from this downtown deadzone perch. The former New York Spaghetti House is now painted in gaudy carnival colours. A barberpole shipwreck of red, white, and green paint have replaced the staid and venerable wooden charm that served as the east Ninth Street entry point for sevnty odd years. Only in the deadzone is wood replaced with cheap paint. Hey rube! Wander in grab a drink and be amazed by the six dollar well shot you are served. Nostalgia? I doubt that the cuffs and collar matches with this new face. A sad motherferya dont ya know.All Greek to me anyway.
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JohnnyRoney - 6/5/2004 at 03:50 PM
... Let it Blog...
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JohnnyRoney - 5/29/2004 at 08:51 PM
"I've been mad for f*cking years"
I can't resist.....some poetry in motion.....
http://www.funsnap.com/1/bushgirl.swf
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wombat - 5/29/2004 at 07:30 PM
" Why,if the man isn't raving, he is composing verses!" Horace. Seems the deadzone will need another poetry maven to replace Daniel Thompson. Who will this person be? Perhaps the spirits will conspire and deliver to us mortal denizens a worthy bard. Daniel's best work was in the promotion department. Calling on the politicos to reserve time to honor our local poetry rootstock. Langston Hughes, Hart Crane, D.A. Levy. Deadzonianpoets gone and not to be forgotten on Daniels watch. Daniel managed to have these same politicos appoint Daniel himself as our local poet laureate. A bit self serving in my humble opinion, though I do not profess to be or understand the mind set that produces poesy, or the complex persona of those who do so as an occupation. Some pretty twisted creatures lurk about disguised as poets. Enough said. Practice silence. " Curae leves loquuntur, ingentes stupent."
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wombat - 5/18/2004 at 03:04 PM
springtime hell. bounty on the main. pirates run amok again near the old meatyard ballpark. what you say good buddy? buried our poet Daniel. sorry sight , all the field hippies tucked into church pews. the sorry master of ceremonies a sour little wannabeee poet named timmy, croaking out his drunken dannyboy, instead of "you are my sunshine" to send the big man daniel off to meet his maker. why the thought never crossed little timmys pickled mind to perhaps play a recording of daniels poetry at his sendoff. well, when you lay down with poets expect fleas.and this is tyodays stinkin old news from the guts of this deadzone. empty again as usual. my bladder that is. " Aut insanit homo aut versus facit."
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JohnnyRoney - 5/10/2004 at 04:51 PM
To the faithful readers of ‘my little rant’, you might notice that Ariel flew the coop. All I can say is BEWARE of birds with ruffled feathers who fly towards the sun only to be ‘consumed by the very darkness of it all’.
....and regarding the world as it is today, I offer this...
http://cscs.umich.edu/~crshalizi/Icarus.html
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JohnnyRoney - 5/5/2004 at 04:23 AM
. Oh yes. I have left . If not my body or ashes would be surely laid or spread by some freeway by now (insert theme from DARK SHADOWS here) Haunted by the DEAD ZONE Say if I spent my formative years out west ( where I currently reside) I might have a better outlook on things rather than so ‘consumed by the very darkness of it all’ . Can you imagine not seeing the sun for 23 years? Since leaving the DEAD ZONE I have never tired of seeing the sun. I know its out there, unlike some places. Half of my life, 23 years of light deprivation and self medication. Succumb to the medias glorification of lets all become drinkers, smokers and raving alcoholics but look beautiful while imbibing. Watch Fred and Barney catching a smoke behind the house while Wilma and Betty do the wash ( in Ohio its pronounced ‘warsh’). Catch Liz and Burt having a nasty fight while pouring another drink. Lets not forget the toll taken by advanced forms of chemical rearrangement. Oh by the way, I wasn’t born in the DEAD ZONE (thank BOG) I’m originally from NYC. I remember getting off the plane at Clevo-Hopkins when I was 9 years old and saying “It smells”. I’m also aware that NYC kind of reeks (but its NYC) but the DEAD ZONE had a funk all of its own with a dreary name and a dreary (or should I say eerie) lake to boot. I’m easily influenced and taken by the power of words. “Cleveland?...Wot kind of f*cked up name is that? Land of Cleves? Wot are cleves? Is that some species of boll weevil or slug? Lake Erie....sounds freaking awful.” It’s the DEAD ZONES OWN. I don’t hate Clevo, I love the place. Maybe the bottom line in all of this is Clevo wuz just too small for me. I outgrew IT like an old pair of boots... Why the rant? The DEAD ZONE let me down.......real down. Paybacks are a b*tch. For those of you moanin and groanin and singin the blues, kick yerself in the yarbles “if you have any yarbles” and quit yer b*tchen and pack it up and leave. Its amazing how sunlight unencumbered by 5 or so cloud decks on a daily basis can chase yer blues away.
[Edited on 5/5/2004 by JohnnyRoney]
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wombat - 5/2/2004 at 11:46 PM
Howdy Roney. Beefalo new york, up the bloody niagra frontier. armpit tonowanda deadzone. minor league home of the iowa tractors franchise is about to begin its short run at springtime. A season that appears more of a metaphor than reality above the mason-dixon.Not to confuse this deadzone with that deadzone. seems that the steel is a rollin' and the city stinks with the foul burning river profits of some isg gang.Tell ariel to fly over this gassy valley of steel belches and to do his best to turn the hillsides into gentle trout streams again. Water sprite, nocturnal flying phalanger. rocky the rodent. I know that springtime has reached the clevodeadzone by the appearance of earthworms in the fridge next to the magnum of bootleg cotton club hillbilly joose. hickup, good buddy, amherst podunk truckstop mayhem greets the season. nascar fuel fiends and lazy eyed autodidact portage path village idiot scholars are planted neck deep in the runny muck of the belching lethean streams of this feckless swamp. gimme a pigs foot pickled, a lemon soda, greasy greens, and hoecake. gone fishin everyday.
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JohnnyRoney - 5/2/2004 at 01:20 PM
Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy
I don't HATE the DEAD ZONE... I LOVE the place. I LOVE the fact that I'm not a resident
JohnnyRoney - 4/27/2004 at 01:18 PM
Righty right. Long time no speak ( or type).Been uninspired lately, Clevo isn’t exactly high on my list of inspirational places (Pyramid Lake 30 miles north of Reno, NV and Taos NM win hands down). Not a day goes by when I don’t thank the almighty or whoever it is UP THERE for escaping the Dead Zone. About the only two things the DEAD ZONE ever inspired in me was to leave it and start this rant. Been having furthur problems with my cat, shes getting old ( shes 13 and have been with her for 11) and between the hairballs and the puke and one outrageous vet bill, its enough to make someone a bit stressed. At least shes eating but it must be hard with periodontal disease and one fang. She can still STALK & KILL a pigeon or a magpie with the best of them though. Narrowed down the source of all the vomitus eruptus, shes been gorging herself on the bags of dry cat food . Speaking of birds, my strawberry blonde 21st century equivalent of Edie Sedgwick wants us to get married. ‘Peaches’ as I call her who instead of destroying her mind and body with drugs and fake tits , tears and tortures herself with the words of Sylvia Plath and Virginia Wolfe . Won’t these birds ever learn? But hey, it could be worse, much worse. I could live in THE DEAD ZONE
http://www.girlonfire.com/
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wombat - 4/15/2004 at 07:49 PM
Hey Roney. Take it from this feller. Late September baseball in April. The local media hacks are giving the touristo advice to walk around downtown and look up at all the pwetty big buildings. Some sort of demented shared phallic vision. Downtown deadzone skyscapers a sour testament to ill planning and the inherent corrupt political types who have been brutalizing this snoozy half sized burgh for the entire length of its history. What else wouldyou expect from this swamp? The leaninmg tower of deadzone state university serves the aesthetic template for the entire campus , and reason alone to mind your business and keep your eyes at street level.
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wombat - 4/15/2004 at 06:22 PM
Cayuga to you as well. Did you confuse ON LAND with DEAD UPON LAND. These sweet waters of the crooked north flowing river a fine cold brew of perfect oxygen rich waters. Sacred Native waters. In the old neighborhood the stanky oil soaked burning slag and hot ore rich river was the stench of paychecks spent on loud sausage and cheap pivo. Pilsner at that.Black label, p.o.c. , tip-top, standard brew. Topped off with the fourth districts favorite kingsbury run punch.Black Dallas Malt. Imported from Vega Avenue on the west side.Use sacred sweet waters, make beer and ale. get drunk, work in steel mill, fall asleep early, drink cheap whiskey, eat big lunch. fart under blankets, wake up with beershits,slow alcohol burn out of skin from working blast furnace. Go sucker fishing with gigs and quarter sticks.Get fired for drugs and stupidity. Get drunk more.Get job on westside on 25th street .Foundry work, 138 degrees on floor in summer.Drink at Potter's Cave. Fall down and sleep in alley.
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JohnnyRoney - 4/13/2004 at 02:17 AM
quote:
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Some river! Chocolate-brown, oily, bubbling with subsurface gases, it oozes rather than flows. 'Anyone who falls into the Cuyahoga does not drown,' Cleveland's citizens joke grimily. 'He decays.'
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things haven't changed much in 35 years, except now the decay has moved ON LAND.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------wombat - 4/12/2004 at 10:26 PM
so roney the tractor finally arrived. ticket to tokyo in hand. bikeman helped me get my metal act together and levitate around the deadzone awhile in his clandestine crop duster. hell this feller remembers chicago in 1940. no hitter and all. now we get together with honus wagner in front of pttsburg deadzone ballpark and talk old times. bikeman is going to sponser a country western fetish ball. should be a big hit down in amherst ohio. promises a daisy duke lookalike contest. no participants from broadview heights allowed to enter. send ideas. and you wonder what one does to ammuse oneself in the deadzone?
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wombat - 4/9/2004 at 02:31 PM
Listen here Rone as in telephone or hambone. this iowa tractor knows whats up. why just this morning a little past dawn , a dark clad figure was posted in front of my metal form, waving his arms towards the heavens, mumbling some honey-mouthed boney maroney peggy sue jive. could be a curious touristo , more likely than not a modern type of shaman hired by the iowa tractors american league baseball team to lift this long running curse. In answer to your query as to what there is to do in this deadzone please obsorve the local custom of entering the deadzone half inebriated, stumble around sodden and half stupid, eat some greasy meats, choke a few bobbing heads, urinate upon that fellers statue on crock and stroll bull-e-vard,u get run over by derelict suv then return to exterior burb to perchance sleep once again in a local jailhouse. The dear anoxiated cuyahooooooga riber can no longer catch anything mr. positive. It is just lconsidered a dereliction of duty to report such an anoxiated state of affairs as our local crooked politicians might tell you if they could muster the stench of their collective divergence.
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JohnnyRoney - 4/8/2004 at 06:36 PM
FYI for those of you who might not know, and it appears there are plenty who don't. The Cuyahoga River caught fire in 1969. Thats 35 years ago.
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JohnnyRoney - 4/8/2004 at 05:23 PM
Hey wombs (as in bombs), wots there to do in The DEAD ZONE. Any ideas? It better not be baseball related, I’m beginning to think you need a good soak in a vat of WD40. Acquiring a bit of rust?
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wombat - 4/8/2004 at 12:13 AM
hey mister roney, just get the skinny from this feller. Britney do unt polka. Polka defines what am music to a significant number people round here dese parts. Yuh do unt polka, you no play dis major mortezone. just esk fraunkie yankovichee? he know best! why when i was back in iowa we danced the polka with piggies. i know, sound funny, yessireee bob , a nation of pork chops, rinds , baked bones, fornicates a dancin all night long undera sweltering high iowa moon. just lurking around downtown cedar falls gazebo all de poor pappies and mummies from burbs all perturb. Britney left em at the curb. pay attention roney....Annual metal scrubdown, the local american league baseball team knicknamed the iowa tractors are on the road and off to a stunning 0 and 2 start. buffalo like polka. send tractors to buffalo. bring back cleveland stadium and lift curse from 1948.edward tarbush come home now.
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JohnnyRoney - 4/5/2004 at 03:45 PM
Mussels.... Shaved clams..... I see Britney bailed. The mystery illness. Did she drink the water? Did she look out the window? Was the drive in from the airport bewildering? She was ‘In The (dead) Zone’, maybe she couldn’t bear the thought of having to perform and be the talent less and naive tart that she is for the next 20 years before any chance of inclusion into the RnR museum . Would that make you sick? Jump ahead to 2025..... “Ooh ooh theirs Britneys soiled panties from the 2004 tour when she inadvertently snorted some fecal pellets which were haphazardly bought on E.9th street...the tour manager thought it was cocaine.” Next thing you know she’ll be hooking up with “America’s Sweetheart” and doing a remake of SISTER MORPHINE , all down and naughty with the tongue for a taste of the nasty popping and nodding in the loo
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wombat - 4/3/2004 at 08:52 PM
help roney, they sent the wrong tractors.Two signs are displayed on the east ninth street face of what was once Eagle street KEEP OUT......... CONSTRUCTION ZONE NO ADMITTANCE . A tin plated pair of metaphor for nbaseball fan and deadzonecleveland american league baseball team alike . What a wedge of sharp cheeze this 2004 bunch promises to be. The guy supposed to bat cleanup, parker brothers, or is it that other toy company.I just forget? Help me roney.This guy seems to have morphed again and is destined to be bound to the new york metropolitans I am fairly certain that the New York franchise will come out with the clean end of the stick.To think on this very spot where this feller sleeps his metalic sleep a venerable old fashioned dining car once perched. Now a triple a baseball franchise better suited up like their farmers up at niagra buffalodeadzone.. deadzone baseball franchies butchers up our national game resembling the beef they used to pack and carve near here on Bolivar Road. Dorsels was the dining cars operator , their sign read "foods prepared in butter" . When Dorsels left town an outrageous brightly colored repaint diner appeared in a psychedelic haze of canary yellow, absurdly bright pink with purple highlights and block letterings. Best part was that this whole magic gustatory bus was painted in the shape of the form of the human body it was monikered from LIPS. A late seventies pimped out twenty four hour version of heaven and hell combined.Both incarnations provided the rich graces of grease staining the perpetual hot guts of the legion of alcoholics who traded with them after closing time Now only my pathetic lonely metal statuary is left. Whats a feller to think these days ? speaking of lefties.Ted Williams is still hanging around, I hear from him once in awhile. They drive whats left of him up in those big white air conditioned trucks they unload behind this triple a tewn year old busherpalace.Been hooking him up to a robotic frame and letting him take batting practice. Says he can still see the seams spinning.Help, Leave money at the base of my metal form so I can get back to my iowa home.Hook me up with the fry baloney sandwhich.
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wombat - 4/2/2004 at 09:56 PM
so roney, old soak you am. what sorta holler lawg you been sleepin in? belive I would like to go back to my native iowa. detroit picked up Urbina , that ballclub near cass corridor is on the way up. this stinkin lay down and die bunch shapiro schlepped together deserve to loose 95 games. this feller oughta know. from my metal perch I can hear the smell of bacon frying and taste the lousy stench of the deadzone l 2004 american league baseball team.did you notice the old womans dress the yokels pinned on me yesterday on my birthady? Shapiro swiped it down and clutched it to his heart like a comforting old blanket I once had back in cedar falls. iowa whats the matter with these young ballplayers today? in my day milton bradley was a toy company.is this deadzone the thirteenth dimension or am I just seein' tings ? send me a tractor now.
wombat - 3/23/2004 at 05:38 PM
Howdy doody citizens and denizens of this anoxiated near depleted world.Sizzle on frankfurters.The new beverage for all the suburban idiots who wander into the tangled warp and wooze deadzone web, a slick combonation of inibriations. One part turpentine, two part texas moonshine, one part muck scraped from sloshed p.o.c. used brew kegs.Shazam, mothers and futhers, you get a stew even this feller can appreciate. This metal iowan knows whats good for this batch of no good young uns' whizzin on me metal hams.I need my tractors.Send help , the no goods from braodview heights are hummin the strains of Jimmy McGriff's classic tune Overweight Shark Bait. Check this tune out on his great long player Red Beans.Mashed potatoes the opiate of north royalton, gravy is served by the pint glass at most public houses. Help, send me back to iowa, the evil buzzard spawn are stuffing all star ballots down my farmboy metal hams.trousers.
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JohnnyRoney - 3/22/2004 at 07:17 PM
Holy Toledo Batman!!! ( or Wombat as the case may be) its the Attack of the Zebra Mussels. Sounds like a 1963 Japanese horror movie - see “ Attack of The Mushroom People.” The lake is dying , lets go fishing, lets go swimming, lets drink the water lets get serious.
http://www.dnr.state.oh.us/wildlife/fishing/fairport/deadzo ne.htm http://www.uswaternews.com/archives/arcquality/2lakeri9.htm l http://www.epa.gov/glnpo/lakeerie/eriedeadzone.html http://www.usatoday.com/news/science/2003-09-24-lake-erie_x .htm
http://www.cultcuts.net/reviewsmovies/a/attackofthemushroom people.htm
I think Clevo has its priorities in the wrong order. Instead the city continues to moan about the media, the radio, a convention center, and a Queen ( or is she Cinderella) approximately.
[Edited on 22/3/2004 by JohnnyRoney]
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JohnnyRoney - 3/20/2004 at 02:38 AM
ona different note. this is for my cat whos not feeling too well
Four people were bragging about how smart their cats are.
The first was an Engineer, the second an Accountant, the third was a Chemist, the fourth was a Government Worker.
To show off, the Engineer called to his cat, "T-square, do your stuff." T-square pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen an drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that was a pretty smart cat, but the Accountant said his cat could do better.
He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each.
Everyone agreed that was really good, but the Chemist said his cat could do better.
He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, picked up a 500 mL graduated cylinder, walked over to the fridge, took out a liter of milk, got a 300 mL glass from the cupboard, measured and poured exactly 275 mL of milk into the glass without spilling a drop.
Everyone agreed that was good too. Then the three men turned to the Government Worker and said, "What can your cat do?"
The Government Worker called to his cat and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff."
Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, pooped on the paper, screwed the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Comp, and went home on sick leave.
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JohnnyRoney - 3/20/2004 at 02:25 AM
no. my bad. appreciate the response. the high tech world of politics has the one up. the thing is Clevo has a history of crooked activities. i was wrong to assume the
worst. my apologys to anyone connected to the story and hey!!! ANYONE BUT BUSH
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Webmaster - 3/19/2004 at 04:14 PM
Just because I was a little curious I looked at our logs... at the moment we have recieved over 1800 of those hits from http://www.buzzflash.com/ which directly links to Larry's Kerry story. Thats only one of the sites sending traffic to that story.
Does it still seem so odd?
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Webmaster - 3/19/2004 at 04:08 PM
Hey JohnnyRoney,
If you take a moment and think about the vast networking skills of political campaigners, I’m sure you will come to realize that this really isn’t so odd. The moment some of these political stores go online there are quite a few websites, email lists and other such networking tools that start driving quite a bit of extra traffic to that story and that story alone. In the current political climate… what with the upcoming election and all, I think you can probably accept that this isn’t really so odd. Were the story about something else… perhaps it would seem strange and Id be looking for a bug in my counter software. Another point would be this: Why would anyone really even bother to add thousands of “Reads” to one story? If I intended for people to inflate our numbers because I thought it would somehow make us look better or something, would I really choose one story out of the blue? No, If I wanted false numbers, I would probably be doing that throughout the site.
Just take some of the main words from the stories you see in the top ten: FCC, RIAA, pop-ups, Clear Channel, Kill Bill, American Splendor, Kerry etc… Now notice that some of those words have been pretty big issues over this short time period. Given the subjects, it’s really not so odd to think that people would invite people they know to read about those things.
If our most read story was about something as boring as chocolate ice cream, I too would find it odd that anyone would have read it that many times.
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JohnnyRoney - 3/19/2004 at 02:40 AM
Does Johnny Roney take JOHNNYRONEY seriously? No. Does Johnny Roney take life seriously? Not on your f*cking life dood. Does Johnny Roney consider himself a writer? NO. Its just stream of consciousness warbling from a man with a bad back who can’t download music for free anymore so hes decided to fill some of his spare time dogging Cleveland. Does Johnny Roney take his forum seriously? No. Its silly, stoopid, surreal, and nonsensical Gobbledegook with a pinch of truth for the masses. It makes me laugh at times and I’ve tried to make it somewhat entertaining. In fact I wanted to stop posting but some people won’t let me. At times is Johnny Roney uninspired but writes his sh*te anyway? You better believe it ( thank Bog for the EDIT feature). Is there anything Johnny Roney takes seriously? Well I expect a “premier alternative newspaper” to present the facts and storys in an unbiased straightforward manner and be honest in its approach. I appreciate the chance to express my crazy outlook on the state of affairs when it comes to Clevo, and I can’t believe how many times its been read by the masses. 3000 + hits over the course of a 5 month period. Now heres the big question. Does the FREETIMES expect Johnny Roney (or any of its readers) to believe a story published yesterday (3.17.04) in its print and online editions has been read over 3000 times online in a 30 HOUR period? Is this like modern day ballot box stuffing by a person with an inflamed ego or wot? Wasn’t there a radio station infamous for this sort of behavior back in the 80's? Makes me wonder how many of the Freetimes Top Ten stories have actually been read by real people. Oh well “que sera sera”
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JohnnyRoney - 3/18/2004 at 06:37 AM
I raise my pint of murphys irish stout. I can't imagine the DEAD ZONE void of alcohol, wot a nightmare ( if it isn’t one already) WAKE UP !!! it (The DEAD ZONE) drives people to drink if for no other reason than to escape from the shadow of the terminal tower. ( Holy f*ck I live here?) as Mr. Mojo Risin once said "this is The End" , might as well be ripped and out of it while walking a parapet and doing Nico in the arse ( she wasn’t BIG on vaginal sex).but the DEAD ZONE is not the city of angels .. it’s the city of politico creepy crawlies . Just be aware that your tax dollars are hard at work and God be Praised if the collective hangover the city will have in the mornin will provide some answer, some divine inspiration or wisdom on how to change things for the better. well... better keep dreaming. The DEAD ZONE has a terminal disease, they even erected a tower in honor of its cancer. Maybe Clevo should change its name to CANCERLAND...........
http://www.kfki.hu/~arthp/html/b/bosch/painting/index.html< /a>
click 'The Ship of Fools'
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wombat - 3/18/2004 at 12:16 AM
Todays blast from a metal fellers arse.An official name change from St. Patricks Day to drunkdeadzone day sponsered by the two bozos most likely to trip over their clumsy political tails, one "simp" cimperman and "yo-yo "jablonsky. The faster that these two are exposed as the shills they are and run out of this deadzone the better off we citizens will be. Seems that if they could have their collective way the entire downtown deadzone would be one big stinking designated deaddrunk and stupid destination for all the swells and pinheads that visit here from the burbs.Time has come to remove alcohol from this deadzone place, not encourage its conspicuous consumption as means to camoufloge the lack of any actual activity occuring here at all. Seems when the folk that visit the deadzone cork a few, they tend to forget that they really are nowhere at all. Reality is suspended and oblivion is pursued here.Stay tuned for a blast on the morrow johnnyroney.
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JohnnyRoney - 3/15/2004 at 06:08 AM
Roneys passion for the Cleveland Podunk Whighole Sh*thole. (groans) I don't want to think about the DEAD ZONE. its depressing. Thats why I left 10 years ago, the place nearly killed me spiritually and physically. I hear they cancelled the St. Pattys day parade so the Gobbing shouldn't be so severe. really wish i could help, but theres nothing I can do, except turn a blind eye and stay silent ( like everyone else) . the DEAD ZONE will never wake up, its too immersed in the ways of old and refuses to change. as long as the DEAD ZONE holds on to a RACIST image of the Native American , the fat lady might as well sing her tune of dismay and repugnance as her gastro-intestinal flora swings with the breeze. Batter it up Boss? Theres a new restaurant on the west side , lets eat drink be merry, swallow a Zoloft or two and take a nice bath. The city is crumbling but we don’t care, no one cares. The big silent majority. Get up, stand up, stumble up to the pharmaceutical counter and partake in the ambience of AMBIEN (fave sleep aid of the current tenants of the White House and its administration). I read there sending some form of investigative body to Philly to get some ideas on how to save the DEAD ZONE. Philly is worse off. Heroin rules the day. Lets NOD to the beats of the day because this really sucks and its gettin real scarey lookin outside. Maybe the DEAD ZONE should take after South Africa , Mandrax ( QUAALUDES) is the hot ticket currently for everyone trying to see the twinkly lights. if nothing else helps you might consider heavy drinking. But whatever you do, DON'T TURN ON THE RADIO. "Questi Cazzi Di Piccione"- Frank Zappa from THE YELLOW SHARK (DZTFDM)
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wombat - 3/14/2004 at 08:17 PM
Hey now johnnyboy, this is your 48 hour wake up call.Attempt typing with your toes if your fingers let you down.To quote Frank Zappa from WHATS THE UGLIEST PART OF YOUR BODY " Some say your nose, some say your toes, I think it's your mind". And the same exact phrase kicks right now concerning my mind covered in pigeon dander, a mere dirt encrusted metal statue that I currently reside within.Parked with my arthritic leg high and a kickin' just outside the jakehouse gate in downtown deadzone. Look me up and kick me in my metal nads when you visit the lousy american league baseball team this year. I spit peanut shells and mumble obscure iowa farmboy baseball anecdotes if you nip me in the right nad, just so. Whats a feller to do? How do I get back to iowa? Why am I doomed to listen to the hollow shouts of empty headed sports fans yet another year?Help me john roney, they will be spitting on me again this Saint Patricks day.Send help now!
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wombat - 3/12/2004 at 06:14 PM
super gassy, really crass, another blast from a feller's , ask me again about the lamentable state of this decay? Why I remeber when I was still an iowafarmbouy,tossing cowpie inety miles per hour at the blasted seagulls. You tell me who put me in charge of guarding this rotten, veneral inspired,toilet palace of the whobegone cleveland injuns?Cursed I say!Bad enough I am now made of metal and have a harder time passin my corny gas, I wish that that lousy shapiro would turn me towards the west so as to be closer to my iowa homelands. Could at least have put a tractor near me instead of them lousy suv loving no good spoiled rotten cleveland baseball fans, walking past and ringing my metal nuts.Heard from sewer gods that cleveland indians are packing up and moving off to Buffalo in a major-minor franchise swap. Kind of like that no good reggie manning swapin spits with fritz wife.Good riddance to the whole bunch.
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wombat - 2/18/2004 at 10:07 PM
A malodorous blast emits from the high kicking metal buttocks of the Iowa farmboys statue. Assafoetida perhaps? Certainly not patchouli or asphalt? Our local baseball teams true mascot has been speaking from a new place these days. Muttering about springtime, aches and pains, sore back muscles. Can't quite make it down the stairs as easy. Gray all the time. Thinks some people named Topping or Webb stole the sun. A decade ago some lowlife politico creeps conspired to steal our taxes and build playgrounds for sports team megabuck owners in the dead zone . Such is how my sorry bullocks were delivered here in metal jacket. Help, let me out. I am prepared to move back to Iowa and leave this Native American burial ground forever. Cursed place.They never did pay me what I was wotrth anyways. Gave all the money to the likes of Rick Manning years later.What a bunch of baseball rubes around here. Think I will launch my gas attacks all season long .
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JohnnyRoney - 2/18/2004 at 08:36 AM
Whoosh. The dust settles. Speaking of dust, on the front page of this website the weather forecast says “blowing widespread dust.” I vision tumbleweeds, smokestacks ,and eagles with deformed beaks mixed with Canadian soldiers (the bugs, who could forget them) and sedated office workers. Surely the Apocalypse is imminent. I’m not sure why I continue to write this forum since hardly anyone replies. My girlfriend wants me to keep on “keepin on” though I don’t see the point. I love Cleveland and I was trying to keep a positive outlook on things, even to the EXTREME of moving back, but that is not possible. Move back to what? Desolation. No jobs, no trash cans, no porta-potties(?!?!) The Gateway to the Northcoast where the main drag is an outdoor toilet. A city that believes (according to NCX) Michael Stanleys “Stagepass” is a better record than Jimi’s Electric Ladyland?!?!?. I’m sure Jimi himself would choke on his own vomit for a second time if he heard that one. What is wrong with you people? "Bog" forbid the town (northeast Ohio) should endure another earthquake. The slate and shale will crack and downtown will become the NorthCoast barrier reef. “Come visit The Lost City of Cleveland, Come ride The Aqua-Tube train, marvel at what once was.” I see Charlton Heston (or your least favorite politician) with the obligatory green scarf hanging by a rope from the top of the RnR museum being “pelted with rocks and garbage” by apes as Michael Stanleys mullet gets enshrined after a tour of supper clubs. The modern DJ’s tossing there ‘underground dance music’ records (techno is to the 00's wot disco wuz to the 70's)(techno - house - tribal - jungle - trip-hop or whatever ‘genre’ you wanna call it is about as underground as britney spears) into a bonfire trying to generate some heat while sampling Chucks screams for help into a loop which says TURNMEONDEADMAN. The buzzard finally placed in a rotisserie while The Not Ready for Decent Music DJ’s (mms glory crew) are crucified for their crimes (bad music) against the youth. Oh wot Bliss. What went wrong? What turned Cleveland into THE DEAD ZONE?
The DEAD ZONE TUNE FOR DECAYING MASSES this week is actually a whole cd. TORTURE GARDEN by Naked City ( John Zorn, Bill Frisell, Fred Frith, Joey Baron, Wayne Horvitz, Yamatsuka Eye) 42 tracks - 26 minutes a must own by any standard, though maybe not Michael’s.
http://www.djdalamar.com/default.shtml
http://fredfrith.com/
http://www.kfki.hu/~arthp/html/e/eyck_van/jan/01page/index. html click 'Crucifixion'
[Edited on 15/2/2005 by JohnnyRoney]
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wombat - 2/11/2004 at 12:06 AM
As for the insipid, vapid, and puerile nature of the questions concerning that stinkin' old buzzard radio station Mister L.S. Namruk , let me remind you that the three former adjectives I used to describe your questions apply as well as to describing the content and flavor of wmms radio in it's supposed heyday. They did strive so low. I will let the immortal words of the former Zalba Meathooks , of Broadview Heights, Ohio serve as testimony. Zalba , who in a televised 1977 interview described experiencing listening to wmms as " a swampy brew of pseudo musical goo. Comprised as much of an ever so predictable self absorbed stream of odd jock patter and a weak supply of limp and wimpy rock and roll music as that it could easily pass as rock and roll muzak".Zalba's personal musical favorites were the biker boogie band found below the mason-dixon line , and a healthy respect for Charles Ives, Spike Jones, and Henry Mancini records.
[Edited on 11/2/2004 by wombat]
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wombat - 2/10/2004 at 11:36 PM
Pay attention johnroney. Invoke the spirit of the bastard spawn of buzzard radio clan and be prepared for the tales of true human fleas. Existing anti gravity amid a fetid stew of hype, greed, payola baby, marching orders . A tale indeed of corporate scum mucking its way down the bloody burbank and new york vomit polar longitudes and poisoning the midwest yokels tiny brains with an assulting display of jersey shore sorry spore type of exotic brine from the sewers of asbury park. Ouch! Stinkin' up our radiowaves , selling the odor without the flavors.What was with that skanky corpse pickin' critter they used as a mascot? That bird was ripped off directly from a Kansas Jayhawk image that is as generic to Kansas as it is foriegn to Ohio.So what killed the buzzard? Exsessive onanism, necromancy, self sodomizing and felching.Crushed it's wmms entity into a fine powder. Perhaps the worst place to be on a Friday evening was in some checkout line forced to listen to the insidious weekly loser chant of "get down". People around here most have taken get down in quite a literal fashion. This dead zone sure did get down and stay down.Better we chant in unison "Great Googly Moogly" and practice the basic precepts of ernie anderson inspired existence. If that chant does not work, all wmms buzzards should reunite chanting the brilliant " gooble, gooble, gabble, gooble, sequence from the Tod Browning black and white film classic Freaks. Get down my buns ola.
[Edited on 10/2/2004 by wombat]
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wombat - 2/10/2004 at 11:18 PM
Mister L.S. Namruk beware. The roasting testes of one dead buzzard bid your do.
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JohnnyRoney - 2/10/2004 at 11:08 PM
'Twas brillig,and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe. - Lewis Carroll
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wombat - 2/10/2004 at 05:36 PM
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JohnnyRoney - 2/9/2004 at 05:11 PM
Time is ticking away in the DEAD ZONE, as it is everywhere. But the DEAD ZONE is special because its going down. Not like how the Babes of Beachwood go down, but like how the Edmund Fitzgerald went down. The quiet dwindling inhabitants of the DEAD ZONE continue to eat their Prozac chips and Zoloft wafers accepting there fate under artificial light. Surely someone somewhere is saying “Great Googly Moogly!!! I gots’ta get my Mojo workin’ and get the f*ck outta this town!!!”
http://deathclock.com
Here’s a handy clock to figure out how much time you have left to either pack it up and leave the DEAD ZONE, or to just simply sit there and rot and receive the LAST JUDGMENT.
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L.S.Namruk - 2/9/2004 at 04:31 PM
Roney
q. How did the buzzard fall out of the tree?
a. it was dead
don't think the buzzard plays anything worth listening too anymore
maggot brain may still be played on WNCsuX
yer right about how much sh**te is played on the right end of the radio band
all the boobs in the booth do is process playlists for the DECAYING MASSES
radio is just another festering body part on this "dyingcity"
please send more DEAD ZONE TUNES FOR DECAYING MASSES
perhaps the soothing sounds will wake the wombat
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JohnnyRoney - 2/5/2004 at 06:21 AM
porta potties. The DEAD ZONE TUNE FOR DECAYING MASSES this week is pure nostalgia. Possibly the only consecutive 10 minutes of true free air on WMMS back in the DAY (that day ended somewhere in 1975) ( I remember consciously turning to the left end of the dial in 1980 or so to get away from the sh*te music of the station 'where music mostly sucked')(oh boy !!! Journey!!! Foreigner!!! STYX !!! any watered down Dylan or McCartney wanna-be or kid from Jersey)(consider Cocaine and Quaaludes were the drugs of choice at the time) But don't ask the DJ to play anything else , cuz he won't. Money money money. Snort snort snort. the DEAD ZONE TUNE FOR DECAYING MASSES is:
MAGGOT BRAIN by Funkadelic ( Eddie Hazel & George Clinton)
{spoken}
Mother earth is pregnant for the third time
for y'all have knocked her up
I have tasted the maggots in the mind of the universe
I was not offended
For I knew I had to rise above it all
or drown in my own sh*t.
my question, does the station still play it?
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JohnnyRoney - 1/21/2004 at 02:54 PM
all is silent in the DEAD ZONE, even the furry animals (wombats) have retreated into their HOLES. Maybe everybody's WET. This weeks DEAD ZONE TUNE FOR DECAYING MASSES is:
the BBC Symphony Orchestra's performance of John Cage's silent symphony ' 4' 33" '. A good song to listen to when the oil tankers cruising up the Cuyahoga river at night blow there horns. this link should work, if not do a search....
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/music/3401901.stm< /a>
wombat-
chain, chain, chain, chain, chain, chain, chain of fools....................going out to all those cool cats and kittens in broadview heights, gravy is a beverage in those seven hills.
JohnnyRoney - 1/16/2004 at 07:57 PM
CLEVELAND - HOW BAD CAN IT REALLY SUCK? Man, I like that. I won't dwell on it though since I don't live there. ... now introducing a new feature of THE DEAD ZONE.
..each week I'll try ( I hate deadlines) to pick a song that makes me think of Cleveland. THE DEAD ZONE TUNE FOR DECAYING MASSES for this week is:
'LUNGFULL OF WATER' from the CD WEIRD LITTLE BOY ( John Zorn, MIke Patton, Mr.Bungle crew). Black Sabbath on (bad) acid is the only way to describe this gem of a song. Maybe a college radio station will play it if you request it. since Clevo is usually under some form of water it fits to a tee. I'm sure you'll agree.
wombat - 1/14/2004 at 09:30 PM
Hello L.S. Entering the annual dwarf toss is a breeze. The ceremonial first dwarf will be tossed by the onomatopoeic mughul of mayhem, none other than one hervey pecker. The lighting of the cayuga river will be provide by those no good westsiders southside and brucie , who will torch an extra oil infused chevy corvette convertible and plunge into the brine near collision bend. Music is provided by michael "slovene" stanley and his pickup band of castoff mechanics and door to door rug peddlers. A fine time for all is promised, as with all deadzone offerings nothing is delivered. Who would have guessed that a self serving alternative press decided to elect one of their one as occidental man of the year? Stay tuned for more exiting adventures. Rumour has it the "boss" will make a suprise apperance disguised as mikey the carpet peddler of late night teleyevision fame. Can't wait..
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wombat - 1/14/2004 at 09:15 PM
Hello Misty, Consider your Los Angeles residence a blessing. Basements in ohio city are not what they are cracked up to be. In facvt many of the westside basements and ohio city houses are just that.Cracked up that is. Better you remain in the city of lost angels As for your musical tendencies , please stay put. Enough folk attempt to earn twenty or thirty dollars and a can of saradines on weekend evenings in these parts. A large mashed [potato belt that exists south of ohiocity, near the quaint towns of broadview heights threatens to melt this spring, possibly flooding the westside with its contents.Stay put!
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mistyfire - 1/10/2004 at 04:54 AM
Is it really that bad there? I was just reading the cheap rental notices for big houses in Ohio City and concocted this whole fantasy about moving to Cleveland from L.A., but now I'm not so sure! We are musicians and can't earn a living here, and it would be awesome to have a big house with a basement to practice in for less than we pay for our crappy little apartment. How bad can it really suck? I grew up there but havent been back in many years, so clue me in before I do something stupid like rent a uhaul and go for it. Thanks, Misty
L.S.Namruk - 1/10/2004 at 04:05 AM
wombat
how does one get entered in the dwarf toss? do I need to bring my own?
will they be lighting up the river for this event?
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wombat - 1/9/2004 at 11:18 PM
AN OSTENTATION OF PEACOCKS. Seek truth all, any moron dweller of dirty cayuga." life goes on here day after day , I don't know if I am living or supposed to be" Arthur Lee. For a true feeel for what passes as life in this podunk shebville , please refer to the cryptic honesty of THE RED TELEPHONE , final track on first side of LOVE, FOREVER CHANGES. BIKEMAN and BANKER please visit and respond. Bring my jar of guabnar e zetna , pronto! Cayoga, a curse on all who dwell between Buffalo and this here crooked place.Cayuga upon you!
[Edited on 9/1/2004 by wombat]
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wombat - 1/8/2004 at 10:55 PM
Greetings again from downtown sheb-ville. Just did see " Einstein disguised as Robin Hood" duck out of a bus headed north on Ontario Street an hour ago. He was babbling aloud the fat charecteristics of Lake Erie fish ,Sheepshead 5.2% , Carp are 5.9%, Suckers 1.8%. What does it all mean anyways? I do not have my recipe handy for Freshwater Drum Chow Mein. Are suckers sometimes mullets? Why does a beltway of solid mashed potatoes exist on the southern tip of Cayuga County? People living in Broadview Heights live up to their community name. The largest dwellers in whole big state of indiaohio live south of Wallings Road.Please advise? P.S. Can you help me locate a recipe for Carp Potatoe Salad?
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JohnnyRoney - 1/8/2004 at 09:21 PM
EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT. Corporate funding has just been secured for Clevelands own SUICIDE MACHINE, diving boards in tasteful designer colors are now being installed on the Detroit-Superior Bridge for everyone who's tired of not seeing the sun and wants to take the final plunge into the unknown and OUT of theDEAD ZONE . The mighty Cuyahoga awaits, just aim for a boat.
take it away Bob...."take me on a trip, upon your magic swirling ship my senses have been stripped, my hands can't feel the GRIP, my toes too numb to step,wait only for my boot heels to be wandering"-Bob Dylan
wombat - 1/8/2004 at 07:33 PM
PODUNK WHIGHOLE, Consider your grip on reality. Johnnyrrrrrrrrrrrrroney consider as well a time travel machine located in a heavily fortifiied tower down the falls on ohio route eight, pull the lever and you shift into a kron dementia. MASON DIXON
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wombat - 1/8/2004 at 04:25 PM
howdy again johnnyroney.greetings from the lower back forty known to us as podunk or shebwooliville. looks as if we will be enjoying the annual dwarf toss in the cuyahoga sponsered by sohio and crooked river politicians club. visiting from his palatial ox farm deep in the wilds of appalachia is former podunk mayor brutus "slappy" brighteyes , who will toss the ceremonial first dwarf of the orthodox new years into the cuyahoga. stay tuned in turn on drop out.boogie now chillun'.
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JohnnyRoney - 1/8/2004 at 06:42 AM
apples and oranges....mullets and rubberbands....shall the mullet be free to catch the wind or tied back to conform..... glad to hear Clevo (Shebwoolieville) has its own mullet store. I'll stick with shaving my head. its quite "liberating" to be honest. "here here" for the Shebwoolieville Supreme and the Whighole Delight but no pork, hold the cheese and heavy on the guacamole. bears in clevo? i thought all indigenous lifeforms native to the area were eradicated long ago. That smile on Chief Wahoos face says it all. HEX ( repeat 3 times while looking in a mirror) .... "Burn on big river...burn on" - Randy Newman
wombat - 1/7/2004 at 10:24 PM
Just crawled out of a fine swinepit bath at bluehole of castalia. Albino fish and we all a achin' an scratchin' the terra firma of this soused up anoxiated place. help man, let us out. Were you aware thata tiny burg a county west of this shebwoolieville was formerly known as WHIGHOLE, OHIO or PODUNK,OHIO. Lets rename this former swamp either of those former names for AMHERST,OHIO and a few people will come here to be photographed under the WELCOME TO WHIGHOLE or WELCOME TO PODUNK SIGN.
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wombat - 1/7/2004 at 09:53 PM
KINGSBURY RUN CHOPHOUSE, a fine dining house, is slated to open overlooking the industrial landscape south of downtown shebwoolieville early next month. All you can eat longpig buffet every Tuesday night after nine p.m. Just catch the free shuttlebus at the corner of Commercial and Minkon.
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wombat - 1/7/2004 at 09:51 PM
You will be slaphappy to know Johnnyboy that MULLETS ARE US anda branch store of the Lorain Road RUBBERBANDS store are opening up retail shops along lower Oyklid Avenue.
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wombat - 1/7/2004 at 09:47 PM
help roney , i am being kept captive in a cave filled with bears with awful beerfarts just down the crooked river from here.
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JohnnyRoney - 1/2/2004 at 07:15 AM
revolution? nano bio?? better include Clevo's own orbiting sun and biosphere which reaches 30,000 feet into the atmosphere and the Cuyahoga county line (at least W.117th on the west side and Coventry on the east end)(bordered by a main drag of your choice). Does Humor Belong In Music? "Lets Move to Cleveland" - FRANK ZAPPA ".... of course it does...."
[Edited on 2/1/2004 by JohnnyRoney]
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luciano - 12/30/2003 at 09:04 PM
Why are people so afraid of downtown? Yes it's gritty, old, and urine-soaked, but I percieve downtown as safe. Even with potential layoffs,(which I'm no longer clear on cause i've been hearing little spots on the news that city-union talks are proceeding with somewhat positive results) I still think the city to be safe. Perhaps it's because I haven't been to many other urban areas of the country, therefore i don't really know what a "safe" and "vibrant" city should look like. But I look at the city in nothing but a positive light. The 1990's brought all the big ticket projects downtown and though they were touted as the saving grace of the city, they didn't do **** besides zap us taxpayers of money that could have been used for far better purposes. But now we are seeing smaller infill projects that are slowly but surely changing the face of our city. Many residential projects sprouting up everywhere, the euclid corridor, expansion and renovation of many of our institutions around the city, and the reconstruction of the city schools. I know it's going to take many more years and alot more hard work to make a large impact, but so long as all of these things keep happening, i think the Cleveland of 10-20 years from now may actually be an attractive, vibrant city. The way i look at it is this: Rome 2000 years ago had one million people and was the center of the western world. It dwindled to relative obscurity for centuries until the start of the industrial revolution and today is a metropolis of 4 million. Cleveland just needs a revolution, and i'd say biotechnology and nanotechnology a few years down the road is our best bet.
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Popuptoast - 12/14/2003 at 06:59 AM
Christ! Doesn't anyone have anything to say?
Pick a fight! Speak your mind! Post something! Confess!
Popuptoast - 12/5/2003 at 03:25 AM
J.R.
Yes, it is getting bad. Hell, along with all the layoffs of police, firemen and EMS techs, they're even removing all the trash cans from the downtown area in order to save a few bucks!
It's too bad we can't build a casino downtown. If someone did, I know I'd be down there and I'm sure a lot of other folks would be, too. Lots of $$$ would come in! Oh well, probably won't see that in my lifetime!
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JohnnyRoney - 12/4/2003 at 12:03 AM
I just spent a week in Cleveland and I couldn't believe what I saw. Euclid Ave has turned into Desolation Row ( all it needed was Cinderella playing electric violin On the corner of Ontario and Euclid). As I ventured towards Prospect FEAR gripped my soul as the thought of getting mugged (@9am?!?) literally crossed my mind. I immediately scrambled back towards Euclid and the Colonial Arcade. It was refreshing to see how ART has revitalized this little nook in THE DEAD ZONE ( I noticed the abstract ART depicting football players on the windows of the old Woolworths Bldg. and the ART on the boarded up entrances to the May Co Bldg) "BRAVO" I thought. Maybe the powers that be in Clevo should board up everything and let some artist go apesh*t painting everything in sight. It might help. Because from what I saw, some sort of PLAGUE has descended upon Cleveland. Inside the Colonial Arcade I saw the NUTMAN and inquired about the LAMPMAN whose shop/studio was closed. Maybe theres not enough nuts in this town who need lamps because surely someone needs to turn on the lights. I made my way to East 9th Street and ended up at the Old Erie Street book store. I related to the shopkeeper how SAD Clevo has become as he told me his tale of woe re: business and the lack of it. The store was stacked on all sides with books reaching the ceiling, but I guess people don't just read books anymore, they have to have there coffee too. The life and vitality downtown Cleveland had back in the 80's and early 90's is surely gone. Now its nothing more than a dying town which is quickly turning into THE DEAD ZONE p.s. lay off more police and WATCH it get worse Goodbye Cleveland -
Popuptoast - 11/13/2003 at 02:24 AM
Yeah! Like going to K-Mart and trying on gloves! (Just kidding!)
We just unloaded KJ - that was exciting!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------tymezup - 10/21/2003 at 07:10 PM
This forum is relatively new. There are plenty of exciting things going on here!
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JohnnyRoney - 10/19/2003 at 07:12 PM
even from cyberspace , it looks bleak. is there anybody out there?
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